Reference Checks for Remote Assistants: Questions That Reveal the Truth

Reference checks are often treated as a formality: a quick call at the end of the process to confirm what you already believe. Done that way, they rarely change a decision. Done well, they reveal how a candidate actually works: their reliability, communication, judgment under pressure and how they respond to feedback. For remote assistant roles, where you'll rely heavily on someone you've met only by video, a thoughtful reference check is one of the best tools you have.

This guide explains who to contact, how to structure the conversation, questions that produce useful answers, red flags, privacy and legal considerations, and how to weigh what you hear alongside interviews and skills tests. For the broader process, see how to hire an offshore executive assistant.

Who to contact

The most useful references are people who directly managed or closely worked with the candidate in a similar role:

• Former direct managers: the best source on reliability, quality and coachability.
• Clients or executives supported: valuable for assistant roles, where the relationship is close.
• Peers: helpful for collaboration and communication.

Ask the candidate for at least two references, including at least one former manager. Be cautious of references limited to friends or personal acquaintances. For remote roles, references from previous remote work are especially informative.

Getting consent and setting expectations

Tell candidates that you'll check references and ask for their consent. Explain who you'll contact. Respect a candidate's request not to contact a current employer before an offer. Many organizations route references through HR and may only confirm dates and titles; in that case, ask the candidate for other people who can speak to their work.

Structuring the call

A reference call of about 15–20 minutes works well:

1. Introduce yourself and the role, briefly.
2. Confirm the relationship: how they worked together, for how long, in what capacity.
3. Ask open, specific questions about behavior and results.
4. Probe for examples.
5. Close with a question about rehiring.

Take notes and use the same core questions for every reference, so you can compare.

Questions that produce useful answers

Generic questions ("Was she good?") produce generic answers. Behavioral questions produce stories:

Reliability and ownership - "Tell me about a time something fell through the cracks. What did they do?" - "How did they handle deadlines when priorities changed?"

Communication - "How did they keep you informed? How often did you have to chase updates?" - "How would you describe their written communication?"

Judgment - "Describe a situation where they had to make a call without you. How did it go?" - "When did they escalate, and was it the right time?"

Confidentiality - "Did they handle sensitive information? How?"

Learning and feedback - "Tell me about feedback you gave them. How did they respond?" - "What did they learn fastest? What took longer?"

Remote work - "How did they manage working remotely: availability, responsiveness, setup?"

Closing - "If you had the chance, would you hire them again? Why or why not?" - "What kind of manager or environment brings out their best?" - "Is there anything I should know to help them succeed?"

The last questions often reveal the most, because they invite references to share honest guidance without feeling they're criticizing.

Tailoring questions by role

Add a few role-specific questions to the core set:

• Executive assistants: "How did they manage your calendar when things changed quickly?" "How did they handle communications sent on your behalf?"
• Bookkeeping assistants: "How accurate was their work? How did they handle reconciliation differences?" "Did they ever spot an error or unusual transaction?"
• Sales support: "How did they keep the CRM current?" "How did they handle a prospect who was rude or dismissive?"
• Customer support: "How did customers respond to them?" "How did they handle an angry customer?"
• Recruiting coordinators: "How did they handle candidate communication when schedules changed?"

Role-specific questions surface skills that general questions miss.

When the reference raises a concern

If a reference mentions a weakness, explore it calmly: "Can you tell me more about that? How did it affect the work? Did it improve?" Many weaknesses are manageable with the right setup, such as a candidate who needs written instructions rather than verbal ones. Others, like dishonesty or repeated unreliability, are serious. Note the context and, if appropriate, discuss the concern with the candidate. Their response, defensive or reflective, is itself informative.

Documenting the outcome

Summarize each call in a few sentences: key strengths, any concerns, the rehire answer and advice for managing the person. Store summaries with the candidate's file, accessible only to the hiring team. Good notes help when comparing finalists and give the new manager a head start during onboarding.

Listening for signals

Positive signals: specific examples, enthusiasm, an unhesitating yes to rehiring, consistent themes across references.

Caution signals: vague answers, long pauses, faint praise ("She was fine"), contradictions with what the candidate said, reluctance to answer the rehire question, or a reference who can't describe what the candidate actually did.

One cautious reference isn't necessarily disqualifying; context matters. But consistent concerns across references deserve weight.

Verifying references are genuine

Unfortunately, fake references happen. Reduce the risk:

• Look up the company and call through a published number where possible.
• Verify the reference's role through a professional profile.
• Use company email domains rather than personal addresses for initial contact.
• Be wary of references who are hard to verify or who answer with suspiciously polished scripts.

Privacy and legal considerations

Collect only information relevant to the job, store notes securely and limit access to people involved in hiring. Don't ask references about protected characteristics, health or personal matters. In some countries, data protection laws govern how candidate information is collected and processed, such as the Philippines' Data Privacy Act, Mexico's LFPDPPP and Colombia's Law 1581; coordinate with your provider. See Colombia's Law 1581 and the Philippine Data Privacy Act guide.

Background checks are different

References tell you how someone works. Background checks verify identity, employment history, education or criminal records, according to local law and the role's requirements. Both have value. Background checks should be run through a provider or service that complies with local law.

Weighing references in the decision

References are one input alongside the skills test, interviews and work samples. Use them to:

• Confirm strengths you observed.
• Test concerns raised in interviews.
• Learn how to manage the person well.

If references contradict your interview impressions, dig deeper rather than ignoring them.

Reference check template

How ExecWing handles references

Reference checks are part of ExecWing's multi-stage screening, alongside written English, a role-specific skills test, a structured interview and a check of the candidate's home-office setup. You can also speak with candidates directly before choosing. See how we vet assistants.

A worked example

A CEO is choosing between two executive assistant finalists who interviewed equally well. Reference calls tell them apart. The first candidate's former manager says, without hesitation, that she'd rehire him, and describes how he rebuilt her travel process after a missed connection. The second candidate's references are polite but vague, and one hesitates on the rehire question, mentioning that updates often had to be chased. The CEO chooses the first candidate and uses the manager's advice, "give him the big picture and he'll run with it", in onboarding.

Common mistakes

Treating references as a formality. Ask behavioral questions.

Only calling friends. Insist on a former manager.

Ignoring hesitation. Silence can be an answer.

Not verifying identity. Fake references exist.

Frequently asked questions

How many references should I check?

At least two, including one former manager.

What if a former employer only confirms dates?

Ask the candidate for other people who directly supervised their work.

Can I check references for candidates in other countries?

Yes. Video calls and email work well; coordinate with your provider and follow local privacy rules.

Should references come before or after the final interview?

Usually after, for finalists, so you can probe specific areas.